How often have you caught yourself thinking, "My life would be so much better if I got into that school" or "I wish they loved me. Being with them makes me the happiest person in the world"? The truth is the eternal bliss that we think those achievements and people will bring into our lives doesn’t usually last for long. After the first semester at school, we get carried away by the academic life full of stress and pressure. Past the honeymoon phase of the relationship, their texts don’t bring us to cloud nine anymore. Finding greater happiness feels like fighting a losing battle.
People adapt to new environments, and it’s good that they do. Some scientists say that we all possess this unique thing called a “baseline” or “set point” of happiness that doesn’t change even after significant events. Some argue that just as our bodies' temperature fluctuates around 37℃, our mind maintains a stable level of happiness (Cummins, 2002). Others attribute how happy we are in life to genes. In a study by De Neve et al. (2012), the serotonin transporter gene (5-HTTLPR) was found to be correlated to life satisfaction to a certain extent. Some people seem to be always giddier than the rest. However, another explanation is that if our brain is not used to feeling good or happy for a long period of time, it registers those feelings as potentially dangerous (Wiest, 2016). That’s why we feel on edge when everything goes too well. Overall, ample evidence suggests that happiness is more than just when something good happens.
Does that mean that happiness is always an uphill struggle? Is it true that if I was born unhappy and anxious, I would be unhappy and anxious my entire life? All of us would probably be in a chronic existential crisis if it were true. So luckily, the myth of happiness being a fixed state is false. Research has proven that certain life events such as employment and marriage can impact our happiness. While genes do play a role, it is possible to cultivate more happiness in life. But the question remains “How?”. Philosophers have been contemplating this topic since ancient times. Thousands of self-help books on the market seek to find the secret ingredient to happiness. But sometimes I feel like I’m already happy by not having to read all the books. Besides, the advice that the Internet gives us is sometimes too vague. How do I manage my stress level? How do I boost my self-esteem?
Among all, there’s one thing that I find quite straightforward. It’s the practice of “being present”. I know, I know it sounds very cliché. We see this phrase across all platforms, from social media to traditional newspapers. But just think about it for a moment. How many times have you paused while reading this post to think about something else? Tomorrow’s breakfast, yesterday’s movie, what your crush is up to, or your upcoming deadlines. All those thoughts are preventing you from living the moment and, potentially, being happy. A study by two professors at Harvard University revealed that mind-wandering is an excellent indicator of happiness and, therefore, a wandering mind is an unhappy mind (Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010). A good example of mind-wandering is while sitting on the bus. Staying still really is such a waste of time when we have hundreds of deadlines to meet. Often, we try to fill that downtime by scrolling through our phones or listening to music and daydreaming. It turns out we are killing our happiness by doing so. So the next time you’re on a bus, try to observe the world a bit closer. Is it sunny or cloudy? What kind of clothes are people wearing? Is anything fun happening on the street? It is so easy to say but very hard to resist the urge to think about events that are bordering our minds. After all, being present is not something we must always do at all costs. It’s something we should increase in our daily lives to feel more connected to the rest of the world and, hopefully, to find more joy and fulfillment.
References
Cummins, R. A., & Nistico, H. (2002). Maintaining life satisfaction: The role of positive cognitive bias. Journal of Happiness Studies: An Interdisciplinary Forum on Subjective Well-Being, 3(1), 37–69. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1015678915305
De Neve, J. E., Christakis, N. A., Fowler, J. H., & Frey, B. S. (2012, November). Genes, economics, and happiness. Journal of Neuroscience, Psychology, and Economics, 5(4), 193–211. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0030292
Killingsworth, M. A., & Gilbert, D. T. (2010, November 12). A Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind. Science, 330(6006), 932–932. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1192439
Wiest, B. (2016). 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think
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